The Walk of a Broken Heart

There are things in life I just don't understand. My relationship of two years officially ended back in May. The relationship had not been going well for a long time, so it did not come as a surprise to either one of us. I really did love this man. It's just that the physical chemistry was not there for us. Also, in some respects we had very different ways of looking at life. I'll always love Mike and I hope we will always be friends. He is wonderful man in so many ways....

So here I am today, single again. I took one very small step into the dating scene and well to say it went badly was an under statement. Don't get me wrong, I made a bad decision....a really bad decision. Luckily I came to my senses, before anything happened. You see, I figured out he was already in a relationship. I don't know what makes someone do the things they do. I will never understand why someone could be so heartless to the one they supposedly love. Luckily....I escaped that mess. But it has made me stop to wonder about my own ability to make good decisions right now.

I am 46 years old. I've been married twice, once for 7 years and once for 14 months. I used to think having "two strikes" against me was a terrible thing. Then one day, a friend sort of put it into perspective for me. It's not that I have had anymore relationships than most people...I just wanted to be in a secure and loving marriage so badly....I took the chance and said "I do". Unfortunately, it didn't work out. At least, I took the chance and tried.

So where does one go from here? Back to the dating scene....Lord help me! I have decided to spend my summer training for a triathlon, then running a marathon in the fall. Basically, taking a break from relationships for awhile. I think it will do me a world of good to stay focused on my mind and body and heal alittle from years of having my heart broken. Hey...it could be worse. I have my health, good friends, a job that I love, etc. Some today I'll try again. But not now...